Postcards from Côte d'Ivoire: Entry 9

Ou sont les pieds d’Alicia cette semaine? 
(Where are Alicia’s feet this week?)

Sunday, March 21, 2021

Sekou and I are having a relaxing Sunday at the beach in Bassam after a busy week working on our projects. As our time here gets short, we seem to try and cram more and more activities into our days, so we are tired!

Alicia relaxing at the beach in Bassam.

Today I am thinking about Ivorian women - ma soeurs (my sisters). It is still a man’s world here in Côte d’Ivoire (CI).  As one of our tour participants observed on our 2020 tour, it seems women here are about 50 years behind women in the U.S. in their quest for equal rights - and we American women still have a ways to go to achieve equality with men in income and opportunities.  Women in CI are expected to be wives and mothers. That is not to say there aren’t professional, educated women here. There certainly are - even women serving as ministers in the government. However, educated professional women are typically from families who have the means to send them to college in Europe or the U.S. They are the exception.

Alicia and her sister-in-law Assetou who is married to Sekou's older brother - the most religiously conservative member of our family.  Assetou can only show her face to me when we are in private and no men are present.

In Sekou’s family - typical of low-income, religious conservative families - educating girls isn’t a priority. Sekou and I helped to pay for primary school for our nieces, but even so our oldest niece who is 20 has been married for a few years, has a one-year-old son and another baby expected any day.  Sekou’s father had only one wife - by choice - but other men in our family have taken a second wife.  This practice can be as heartbreaking for the first wife as divorce or infidelity to an American woman, except the first wife is expected to go along with whatever her husband decides. Women here don’t typically earn enough money to live independently, and they are less likely to own property, so they don’t really have options but to stay in a bad marriage. In the south of the country there are some tribes that are matriarchal - property passing from the mother to her children, but that doesn’t necessarily translate to other rights. Sekou’s mother was from a southern tribe (Krou), but his father was from the north where the predominate religion is Islam and the societies are patriarchal.  

Alicia and Sekou's little sister Mariam shopping at her local market.  Selling goods at market is considered an acceptable job for women here, although they are expected to share their earnings with their families.

As an example of the societal pressure on women to stay subordinate, we spent some time with the daughter of Sekou’s best friend who passed away many years ago. His eldest daughter is 32 now.  She’s been married for many years and has four children with her husband. The marriage was not her choice - the family arranged it without her input - and her husband is physically abusive. This young woman has tried to leave her husband several times, but each time she comes home to her mother’s house she is sent back to her husband because a bad marriage is better than no marriage from their perspective. She is back home at her mother’s house now and she is refusing to return to her husband. She says the marriage is over, so she found herself an apprenticeship as an aesthetician and hopes to open her own nail salon someday, so she is financially independent. She dreams of making enough money to rent an apartment for herself and her kids, but her family tells her she can’t do that because people will assume she is a prostitute if she lives alone without a man.

Alicia and Bintu Mariam, the daughter of Sekou’s best friend. Bintu is bravely starting a new, more independent,  life after leaving an abusive marriage.

The reality of life here for my Ivorian sisters is one of the cultural differences I cannot accept or observe through a neutral lens. It breaks my heart to see how women suffer, and we know from studies in the U.S. that families with two working parents are more financially stable. It frustrates me to no end that a lot of men here don’t recognize how they are harming themselves, too, when they hold back the women and girls in their family. This is one of the reasons we are so committed to our partner organization Women Entrepreneurs and Leaders (WEL) NGO.  It is the hard work of organizations like WEL that will, little by little over time, improve the lives of women and girls here.  

Alicia, Sekou and Elodie Kouadio, the founder of WEL NGO.

To my American sisters, you can help! You can donate to WEL’s latest project, African Arts Creations, or you can travel with us on our next Travel with Purpose tour and be an inspiration to women and men. One of my favorite memories from our 2019-2020 tour was during an official visit our group had with the 14 village chiefs (all men) in the subprefecture of Katiola.  The primary role of the village chiefs is to serve justice when there are disputes. They were curious to know how the justice system in the U.S. works and asked someone in our group to explain it. The look on their faces was precious when a woman in our group - who is an attorney - stood to answer their questions. I believe the chiefs found that more interesting than the information she provided about our justice system. A few moments of cultural exchange may have opened their minds to the role of women in their society - who knows?

Alicia, Sekou and Father Germaine with the village chiefs.

Want to learn more about the lives of women and girls in CI?  Want to help us support our partner WEL NGO?  Consider traveling with us on our next tour - early bird registration and pricing is open now! - Alicia

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